T: Well, I think I must’ve been about twelve years old when I started experimenting with drugs.
I was never addicted to any one drug or another, but I was addicted to getting high, to getting outside my body, outside my mind. I’m done with this.” My grandparents happen to be filthy rich, and so I got shipped off to boot camp.
My agent is very anal, very British; he said, “What’s that dog doing in my office? Eventually my agent said, “If you don’t get your dog out my office, I’m going to call the cops.” The guy was a felon, and so as soon as my agent called the cops, the guy just bolted. He said he was going to go to the bathroom and then he snuck out the back. You would say anything at this moment because you have jack shit.” And I said, “You’re right.
He stole my credit cards, he took my money; I don’t have anything.” And he was like, “Well, that’s your fault.
T: Lots of well-known people out there have propositioned me. I wanted the sound guy, I wanted the lighting guy, I wanted the camera man, I wanted all my fans, even my agent, I even wanted my agent to wish he could goddamn experience me.
I need to say that Kevin Durant has never approached me; the only reason I mention his name is because he put me out there in a song. It was like: I want to be perfect in your eyes, to capture you, to control you, to make you do things you would never otherwise do. I wanted that power, not to make them have sex with me, but I wanted everyone in the room to be in love with me, to become completely engulfed in this perfect creature I’d created called Tori Black. T: Well, I think there are three ways that people go.
The school was for the crazy of the crazy, but also the smart of the smart, and when you put crazy and smart together, it’s not a good combination: the things they come up with, to do to each other, to do to themselves. T: In college I was partying a lot, and essentially I found myself right back where I started before I went to boarding school. I’d never felt crazier in my life than in that moment—trying to assess myself, the world around me, trying to figure out what the fuck I was supposed to do, who I was, what I was doing, what was right, what was wrong. ” From out of the back room, somebody who must’ve been eavesdropping screamed, “Black! Even though I hang out with a lot of black guys, I’m not a “hood,” as some people would say, you know what I mean? When I reached the interracial box, I thought, there are a lot of different races out there, so if I don’t check this, does that mean I’ll only work with white people? Then my agent said, “You don’t want to do that so soon or you’ll ruin your career.” I was dumbfounded: “I’m going to ruin my career? ” It just made me laugh; you’re sitting there jerking off to porn, but at the same time, you’re going to tell me I’m somehow immoral or unacceptable because I’m fucking a black guy? If you look at some of the greats in the industry—Belladonna, Jenna Haze, ummm… He was like, “I don’t want to talk about your work because I think you’re better than that.” And me being me, I’m like, “Oh! ” So one night, my girlfriend and I went over to his house. So when I came out into the street, I said, “No, no, no. When the cops showed up at the house, they said they were looking for a Michelle—“Is there a Michelle here? T: Eventually they decided to take me to San Francisco and told me that I needed to go collect my shit.
When I have these feelings, these flashbacks, I can’t hold them in.So then I was homeless, living with friends, going from couch to couch. I was dropping acid, taking literally any pill I could get my hands on, crunching, snorting, having sex with people I would’ve never had sex with. It was a school for gifted girls with behavior problems. I’m going to be a go-go dancer.” Then I saw an ad for porn: “Do you want to make ,000 a month? ” Of course I’m hanging out with black guys, of course, of course… He didn’t rape me or anything, but I was looking at him the whole time, thinking, Oh my god this is a celebrity. If he’s involved, then they must have a lot of power. But the guy holding me hostage pulled out guns—he had so many guns—and all of his friends were hiding in the trees. ” I don’t know how many different kinds of drugs I had in my system—crank, meth, whatever they were making me snort. I had no concept of where I was or what was going on.